Happy Hallowed EVE!!! Whatevah...

So it's Halloween again, YES I did put out the decorations, as I have for the last 13 yrs (my son just turned 14). Now you know I decorate for everything, but the DAMN Tooth Fairy.... I think this will be our last year of decorations and celebrations... He is actually staying in to give out the candy. I guess the jig is up. I no longer have to spend $4000.00 on candy. Nor do I have to put up the Easter Bunny flag, or the Leprechaun poster, but I will still put up the Christmas decorations, that is just as much for me as it is for him....

Now it's time for a...True story

Real shit. Ok, it was Halloween about 4 years. We had agreed we would turn out the porch light and stop passing out candy at around 9:30 pm. At 10:30pm my doorbell rings I am thinking it's either the Rape man, a burglar or a wayward child that has no sense of time and is trick or treating alone, without his parent that would know better than to approach a dark ass door.......

I open the door and there stands a grown ass teenage boy, looks to be 19 or 20. He is dressed in a dirty t-shirt, with a over-sized flannel jacket, flooded jeans, he is using a pillowcase for his booty and a very broken down Jheri Curl wig, that had seen some better days when it was worn by Ms. Jenkins, head Usher at Mount Olive Greater New Hope COGIC AME aka the "Lunch Room lady's" head.

So I am thinking this baby is homeless is just using the Holiday as a front to come up. So I open the door ever so slightly and he says in a voice that saw puberty long ago, "Trick or treat."

Now don't get it twisted I thought of at least having my pistol in my waistband, just to let him know we could go there if I deemed it to be necessary. I give him a couple big scoops of candy then I ask him hey what the hell are you supposed to be? I had to ask, I know it was very uncouth, even crass in some circles. The dark circles and the dry white mouth should have been the give away, but of course I had to ask. I needed to know what he was supposed to be.... a usher board member, a lunch room attendant, what??? he told me that he was a, get this a CRACKHEAD!!!

I had to give him more candy just for being so inventive, so daring, so RETARDID. Now that made my night and of course I didn't answer the doorbell for the rest of the night, what could come after a CRACKHEAD?? I was afraid to ask.