Tuesday, January 23, 2007

You know u my girl, right??!?!!

For all ya'll...
Damn!!! We sho have been through a lot... No matter what you've been there for me. You are appreciated
Love,
ME

We went to Miami and dressed like hoochies (We used our club names:-)
You fell in love (I told he wuttin' bout ISH, but since I am your girl, I ain't gone hit you with the "I told you so"...)
You had a baby (Now just look at my God child....)
You lost your baby (I still cry when I think about it)
You lost a parent, (I sat on the phone cried like I lost mine, cause in a way I did)
You needed a loan, I gave you my last 'cause we like that
You needed a place to lay your head (You didn't even have to explain)
Money was tight (We pooled our resources and got us a club outfit, didn't cost much but we were still the most crackin')
I thought he was the one (I called you and cried on the phone like it was your shoulder)
Damn, I was scared (You held my hand)
You know things about me (and I will call you a liar if you ever told :-)
I told you I wasn't ever going to meet Mr. Right (You told me to stop trippin' and stop looking in da club :-) Now that was real sh&^......
We went to Philly and acked a fool (Rememeber the Crow's Nest, I didn't know we could have got shot, but I showl had a ball)
I know u like wine in screw top bottle (You my dog and I ain't never gone ack cute, not with you, even though we know how bourgeois I can be)
You used to have the bomb A&# pool parties
You told me you were tired of being unhappy (I told you to do what would make you happy, which translated to: Dump that clown and find your happiness)
I met you thru my girl, who is mad cool, so I knew you had to be cool as well
Now you know we always got our sip on together (If I wasn't at your house, you were at mine) You called complaining about what's his face (I called you yesterday on that same mess, talkin bout my what's his face)
No matter what we've always had each others back.... You know I am still here whenever you need me!

Got this one from Petey, now we been tight like Ashford and Simpson since '89... so you know we go way back...

To all of my girls, even though we don't chat eryday, you know I love you like BBQ skins, a Red Hot and a cold Pepsi, now if that ain't LOVE, ioun know what is!!!
Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't call when they say they will.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.

BUT...........
Girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you.
A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

I met a real live Male HOODRAT!!! I thought they were a myth, u know like a Unicorn.


Now people the story I am about to tell you is TRUE and it all happened in MARCH 2002 and I ain't seen Baby Boy since then... so here goes...

REAL SPIT!!!
3/28/2002 @0728 pm

Hey ladies,
Ok, I know it's been a minute since I sent out a lil' love note!!! So here is the latest DRAMA!!!
I went to a Reggae concert last saturday, yeah it was DA BOMB!!! Ok I know we have heard of Male HOODRATS, yet I met him and know him personally.

Mind you I was on my 2nd bottle of Moet, so my judgement was off just a wee bit!!!!!

6'4" Green eyes, 40 years old, half Indian (Not the Red dot in the middle of forehead type :-) Beautiful Brotha, in tha dark that is...
Now here is his tale, babyboy has 4 different baby momma's, did 12 years in the PENITENTIARY (Not the movie) for robbing jewelry stows (Ebonic translation: Store)
He has tombstones tattoed on both arms to represent the "DEAD" years as he calls it.

That is not all, I had to see this in the daylight, so after conversing for a couple of days (I had to know more because I could not believe that baby was really this sad).

He was like, "Yeah, come by my Momma & Grandmomma's house." So I'm thinking I'll have to make two stops, NAW!!! How bad could it be?? Why in De Hell did I ask that. Lawd, he had me meet him @The Four Corners OF DEATH!!! Gang territory and of course I am in a RED Rental car, scared to deaf because the area belongs to a gang that really prefers the color BLUE.

So of course I am hiding my ATM card in my underwear. I pick him up, since he said he would be at the corner, I am thinking he'll be @the corner in his car and I am going to follow him..... No he is STANDING on the corner wearing his favorite SHORT SET, looking as if he is about to commence a drive by, check this, with a Joint behind his ear, mind you he is a two-time felon, so he is just begging for his third strike so he can go back and kick it with the homies!!!

Ya'll he jumps in my whip and I am like, oh no!!! We go round the corner to his Grandmomma & Momma's house (that's where ERYBODY lives).
I have to stop because I am at the office and I am about to scream I am laughing and cryninin just reliving the whole episode....

Anyway, we get there and his youngest baby (of his 6 kids) is there and she is a beautiful green-eyed, papersack brown lil girl. One earring in, one barret in her curly afro, her pamper as heavy as my son.. and he talks to her like she is one homies standing on the block.
Then we are outside on his MOMMA'S and his GRANDMOMMA's porch and he is blowing smoke all up in the babies face and I am telling him to at least turn his head. He was looking like he could whoop my ass, but it's too soon.....

He tells the lil girl that I am her future Step-Momma, now you know I am about to scream....
I took off running, thinking.... I see how some brovahs feel......

Just had to share, hope you all have a great week.... If u see a bro 6'4", green eyes, with tombstones tattooed all up and down his arms, please call 911.

XOXO,
ME!!!

Your Bread and Buttah!!

Now, I was just listening to an old Beenie Siegal song with that exact title.
Now exactly what does it mean to let a Neer be your Bread and Butter, you may ask??

That means he is the Chix Wings and/or the Gizzards and the Hot Sauce, the Greens and the smoked meat, the car and the gas, the RED Kool Aid and the SUGAR!!!

Awww Damn!! I know, I know, you ain't mean to let it go that far, I know sugah, I know!! He is everythang and everythang revolves around him and mostly likely his PAPERWORKS, his MONIES, his Cheeze!!! His Cake, his scratch, his scrilla, oh you damn show undastands what I am speakin on!! U gets it!!

You can't NEVAH, EVAH, EVAH let no MAN be your Bread and Buttah!

Even if he is you betta not let him know that ish! Cuz that's when they tends to ack a monkey, cut da buck, show theys ass and all other sorts of FUCKERY!

On erythang I loves, BE YOUR OWN WOMAN and in turn you shall be your own bread & buttah! If not @ least try to PHUCK with a Neer that at least works for a Bakery ;-)!!! DAMN!!!

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Dress for the job you want, not the one you have....

Look at the pictures below and what is the first thing that comes to mind?

A. Another NBA Player beats a Paternity case.
B. Tyrone "Sweet Dick" Jackson beats another pimping and pandering case.
C. A 21 yr old is released from a juvenile detention center after serving 10 yrs for a murder he committed at the age of 11.





Now ya'll know I loves the kids and this would be considered a real BABY! But Baby Boy is FIONE!!!
That second picture made my stomach hurt!! He looks like he could play Midnight in "The Coldest Winter" or Quaadir aka Q in "True to the Game".
Kinda reminds me of Stringer Bell (I know, I know, I know!!!)
Now on a more serious note, why are they dressing him like a Pimp, already!! Now They would includes his Mamie, his Aintee, and his sisters!! Got that man in that 100% Rat Ass coat and the Aluminum Pinky Ring, that's who he reminds me of, remember Pinky the pimp of the Movie, "Friday" and "Friday after Next"???
I hope while he was in that facility he didn't just look at BET all day long or practice his rap freestyle flow so once he got his DEMO out there cause he could blow up.
All that to say that I hope this second chance he has been given is well utilized, and he is able to reach his full potential and maybe be a beacon of hope for other black youth.
Plus I wanna give him some of this Sticky Pudding!!! The boy is FIONE!!! Damn! I don't even think they make them like that out this way, dis is some BULL-ish!!!!


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Ya'll betta listen to Ms. Celie


I watched The Color Purple with my homegirl about 2 weeks ago. We sipped champagne, ate fruit and cried like babies for 2.5 hrs straight!!!

The COLOR PURPLE was and still is one of the most inspirational movies ever written. I love that movie. It always seems to be talking directly to me. Every time I watch this movie, I see something new.

Here is my favorite quote from the ENTIRE movie and I feel as if it's just as prevalent today as it was in the time period this movie was set. When Sophia (Oprah) says to Ms. Celie (Whoopi), "All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. A girl child ain't safe in a family of men, but I ain't never thought I'd have to fight in my own house!


I loves Harpo, God knows I do. But I'll kill him dead 'fo I let him beat me!"

Now that was a statement for you a%^. Damn!

Now I really did want Ms. Celie to stab Mr @ the Xmas dinner table but what she said and did was more powerful than taking that clowns' life:

Shug: [after telling Albert that she and her husband are leaving] Celie is coming with us.
Albert: What?
Shug: Celie is coming with us to Memphis.
Albert: Over my dead body.
Shug: You satisfied? That what you want?
Albert: [to Celie] NOW What's wrong with you?
Celie: You a low down dirty dog, that's what's wrong. Time for me to get away from you, and enter into Creation. And your dead body'd be just the welcome mat I need.
Old Mr.: Boy, you goin' let this ol' nappy-headed girl cuss you out like that? You sittin' at the head of your own dinner table and actin' like a waiter.
Celie: [lunging at Mr with a knife] I could kill you. Until you do right by me everything you think about is gonna crumble!
Sofia: Don't do it Mrs. Celie. Don't trade places with what I been through.
Shug: Come on Mrs. Celie let's go to the car.
Sofia: He ain't worth it, he ain't worth it.
Albert: Who you think you is? You can curse nobody. Look at you. Your black, your poor, your ugly, your a woman, your nothing at all!




This line always strikes a chord with me, it seems to speak to all black women that have been verbally abused and put down by their own folks, hell by their own men.


Celie: Until you do right by me, everything you even think about gonna fail!
Sofia: Look like I came back just in time.
Old Mr.: Well we need some stability around here.
Albert: I shoulda locked you up. Just let you out to work.
Celie: The jail you plan for me is the one you gonna rot in!
Albert: I'ma knock you under... [Celie holds up the sign of a HEX]
Celie: Everything you done to me, you already under you. [Celie gets in car]
Celie: I'm poor, black, I may even be ugly, but dear God I'm here, I'm here!

I think I may have a few of my peeps ovah this weekend to watch this again and of course have a few dranks.

This movie inspires me. To not be afraid to take chances. Try new ventures. Do the research, lay the groundwork and there is nothing you can't accomplish. Get out there and do what you do.

I say this all the time, "When you know better, You do better". Keep on doing you, to the best of your abilities.

And lastly, the quote that best describes the Drive, Motivation and Determination you need to succeed, in the words of a

Young Nettie: Nothing but death can keep me from it.




Now that's some REAL Talk!

I JUST Hates a HATER!!!

I need to put this out there!

I just HATES a HATER!!

You ever see that one special Hater, now you know she a Hater, she know she a Hater, BUT she don't know that you know she a HATER!!! All that Fuckery goin' on and all you wanna do is pull a Flava of Love and spit on her ass!! But being tha PHUKIN Lady that you are, you stall her out, for now!!
All I can say is I don't wanna go to jail for slappin FIYAH from a BISH!!! But it is what it is....


TRUE STORY......
Now I saw a VERY Special hater (She was the Chicken Rat in that story), anywho..... Saw her this weekend, and she was in the spot real HATERish!! Of course lil Momma was tryin to pull a Oprah, you know talk a Bish to deaf, but I was cool on all that, just gave her the Filipino head nod and kept it pimpin!!
But she was going outta her way to speak and chitty chat, and all I was thinking, was Bish I know you don't like me or my situation, so why waste your oxygen (Lawd knows U needs it!!)

But then I came to a realization, I had an epiphany of sorts, she is a hater, but I don't think she really means to be that way, she's not an unattractive person, but I think she's just very, very insecure and has other issues and because she is unable to deal with them, she takes everything personally, regardless of the topic. So I took a moment to step back and look at her as not a hater, but as another sister out here tryin to make it and for a brief moment, I saw thru the HATE and such. I saw her and how she really looked, she looked scared and alone and lonely.
Right then and there I just prayed that she found some solace or peace within herself.

She doesn't seem to realize that, "No one can make you happy" and until we all realize that you will be one sad ass.

When you see a prospective HATER, don't trip, just think that you have no idea what the hell they may be going thru... Just don't let they asses get too damn close!!

The best way to deal with HATERS is to keep looking lovely and doing you ma, KEEP doing you!!!

Friday, January 12, 2007

QUESTION OF THE MONTH, Are you a SIDELINE HOE????

That is the title of one of Monica's songs on her new cd, "The Makings Of me". Now ya'll know I ain't nevah scurred (You betta AXE somebody), but as she so eloquently stated during her performance last weekend, you could be the Sideline Hoe and not even know it.

Here are a few signs that you, yes you, Ms. THANG, could be his chick on Da Side. Peep these inDICKations that you are just that, the Sideline Hoe.....

1. He calls you whispering, talkin bout his Grandma is sleep....
2. You get nothing but Voicemail after 9:30 pm.
3. You always here water in the background when he can finally call you back (Fool, he is calling you while he is taking a ISH)
4. He tells you that he is only with her for the kids, but once that little baby, TAY TAY Jr, gets into HeadStart he is out tha door!
5. His baby momma is pregnant, but once she has the baby, he is out tha door.
6. They just live in the same house, he sleeps in the den (now you know he is tappin that ery chance he gets)
7. He can't take a shower at your place and if he does he doesn't use any SOAP!!
8. Better yet he just washes his dick in yo kitchen sank and wipes his balls with yo over mitt (Girl, just start running.....)
9. Dinner and a movie with him is Chicken Nuggets, a large fry and a fuzzy ass bootleg copy of "Beauty Shop".....

Now there are many different positions you can play on the team.
1. Wifey
Now she gets all the benefits, i.e., The Credit cards, The Auto, The trips, the jewelry, BUT don't sleep she gets all the BULLSHIT!!! The attitudes, the Moodiness... all that FUCK HOE SHIT!!

2. Mistress
She may get a few trinkets and a Ford Focus, but she doesn't have to put up with that BULLSHIT!!!! The Real FUCKERY. She has him a cold drank waiting when he gets there, wearing her VIcky Secretions and will lick his scalp if he asked her to do so.

3. The Lil Momma
She ain't a mistress, so no car for her, but she is more than a Jump Off. He'll get her hair and nails DID! But she just anotha piece he keeps on tha side. She probably just likes to wear sweatsuits, New AirForces and a ponytail, a GENIE Ponytail. More than likely she has a Gold TOOTH and all her babies daddies names across her tittays!

3. THE Jump Off
She just getting fucked! No spare change, no kisses, no nothing! Just dick, but SHYT, sometimes that's all you Really, really want!!! UUUMMMKKKaayyy!

All that to say, if you are going to play your position, play it well. Shit you can play all 4 at the same time, if you are diverse and that neer won't make a move!! But just remember he has his positions to play as well, but they think they are just so damn Slick and GREASY!!

You may just have to show him who really is as GREAZY as Baby Oil.....

JUST DO U, ma, DO U!

I'll holla!!!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Avon Barksdale (As I give him the evil eye)......


Ok I know I said that I would never mention Stringer Belle's name again (Click here to see ERYBODY) Anyway I was in Atl during the BET Hip Hop Awards and who was tryin to holla @ a Playah??? You guessed it, Avon Barksdale (real name Wood Harris) I was mad at him when I saw him (I know, I know it was just a show, but tell that to my heart!)

He was mad cool, but all I wanted to do was ask him for Stringer Bells phone number (Bullshyt ain't nuffin!!) And one of my folks relatives had the nerve to say, "That's not fair, she talking to Avon!" I could see shawty over to my left smoking her 20th Black & Mild (Not a good look) playah hatin' on the Sidelines, but you know I just don't give a Phuk!!

So I kept choppin' it up, needless to say he offered the number, in the words of the most crackinest rapper alive, Jay Z, "I never change", I was cool on him when he ordered the hit and I am cool on him now!!

P.S.
Quiet as it's kept I thought about avenging my babies daddy by stabbing that neer with my Heineken bottle, at least that's what my heart was tellin' me to do, I had to keep telling myself, it's only a show and plus I will always have the baby that Stringer fathered, Lil Stringer Jr. :-)

If you're real quiet you can hear Klymaxx in the background singing, "I miss you".

If only in my mind!!!

I am so glad to be back...

It's been a minute, so much has happened.... Damn where do I start?!!?

Well first of all Happy New Year. 2007 is the Year of the PIG (Chinese New Year) !!!

I went to see Monica the other night, she was here with AKON (why I can't stand that lil African, I don't know), anyway, she looked so beautiful, even though lil Momma needs a pot of Butta beans and some hot H20 Cornbread, she can still blow. I was so busy sippin' that I was just zoning!!!

Now you know 7 is supposedly a lucky number (Let somebody offers me $666,666.66 I am taking it, so PHUK that Lucky number ISH!!!) Anywho!!

Me and my girls are going to see the Black Chippendales this Friday, you already know what da bidness is, huh??

Why do we stay with Mr. Wrong, even when we know he's not the ONE? Why do we stay? Is he really that fine? Does he really work for the Gas company (You know LAYING THAT Pipe ;-)

Why do we stay? Maybe out of habit, maybe he has his good points, even if he did run up your phone bill and bring your car back with no GAS!!! :-) Ioun know why, but those are the ones you will give your SSN to if they ask at the right time!! Damn! Dis is some Bullshyt!! Bombaclot!!! Blood FIRE (Phuking with them Jamaicans, you pick up they cuss words!!!)


I will definitely start back blogging, I miss getting issues off or my chest.